Tuesday, March 30, 2010

We'll Hedge Them Off at the Pass

I prepared for the interview at the hedge fund the same way I would for any interview. I went to their website, and I read all the press on the company. But after I did all this, I felt even less prepared than before, and a good deal more intimidated.

The Recruiter told me that the company did some film financing, but I could find no evidence of this on the website. However, the verbiage on the website was so impenetrable to me that perhaps, I thought, they could be talking about film financing.

I did understand a few things. For example, that these people appeared to know what they were doing. The press made clear that this was a very successful company, and they had at least one famous guy working for them. Some kind of stock savant. And they were one of very few hedge funds which had managed to make tons of money in the recent and ongoing economic meltdown.

I also got that a hedge fund is sort of like a back-up plan. It’s the investment you make in case all your other investments go belly up. Which seems to me sort of like placing two opposing bets at the same time, and therefore somewhat unfair. Or at least gutless.

But if I’ve learned anything as a Careerist, I’ve learned that you’ve got to take some risks. Take a risk on an odd job, and you might get free parking at the ballpark and all the Dodger dogs you ever wanted to eat. If you’re skeptical and decide not to show up, you can be certain of only one thing; that you won’t make any money and your life won’t change.

So I braved the 405 and went to the interview. And if I wasn’t devastatingly beautiful, I definitely looked as gorgeous as the Recruiter could have asked from a writer on a budget. It didn’t hurt that by this time I had a serious discount at the store and wore a new black wool dress that was both professional and uniquely alluring at the same time.

Somehow or other, I managed to convince these finance types that a woman with an MFA in Screenwriting was capable of gaining an interest in finance where there currently was none, and they hired me on a temporary basis for two weeks. I sincerely believe that I nailed the interview when I mentioned that I wasn’t afraid to try anything when it came to my career and even sold concessions at Dodger Stadium when I needed to. No joke. I think they were impressed.

The only snafu occurred when I mentioned that I was interested to hear about their film financing. I was told quickly and without any equivocation that there was no film financing whatsoever taking place at this company. In this moment, I was grateful for the professional and uniquely alluring black dress, which was the only thing making me feel like something other than an ass.

Driving home, Northbound on the 405, I wondered why the Recruiter told me that they did film financing. Had she been misinformed? Was she confused? Or had she lied to me in order to create a link, however tenuous, between my ambitions and the functioning of this company? But it occurred to me how stupid it was to think that a hedge fund could have anything to do with film financing, because no one whose primary function is to lessen risk for investors wants anything to do with something as risky as film. In any case, I was happy that they forgave me for my misinformation and happy to have the opportunity.

And yet, I hedged. An opportunity is one thing, and a sure thing another. I decided to keep working at the store while I worked at the hedge fund, knowing that nothing was in the bag yet. And I also balked at telling my parents that I’d had the interview, that I even had the temporary work. I told myself at the time that I kept the good news from them in case I didn’t get the permanent job, so that I could limit the disappointment they might feel. But I knew, and wouldn’t admit, that I wanted the ability to call off all my bets without having to explain myself.

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